Anger, impatience… Its just like giving up chocolate.

So its been one week since I set upon ‘being in the moment’ – has it been successful? Well let me tell you that it’s hard to stay positive when on the first day of this new mindset you get your brand new (fake) RayBan aviators stolen from under your nose in the post office!  Testing as that was, I tried to stay positive (I feel better about it knowing the thief is swanning around thinking that they’re real when they cost me 6 euros from a nice Greek corner shop ha.)

I made a conscious effort to take in the ‘moment’ as I soaked up the glorious sunshine over the weekend and had a brilliant spontaneous road trip to the seaside with my girls. Are there more wonderful pleasures than picnicking and paddling in the sea? (It’ll be interesting for me to see if I can keep hold of this attitude in the British winter as I hate the cold and dark.. hmm. We shall see.) Currently though, positive attitude – check. Living in the moment – check.

To make the most of the last few days of free time before aforementioned new job starts – I decided that I should enlist some professional help my new personal development, so I embarked on a free meditation course (from this brilliant place in Covent Garden called ‘Inner Space – meditation and development centre’ where all their courses are free, for more info press here) Over 4 hours over 2 weeks I’m learning how to free my mind and create space from my self.. yes it may sounds hippie but many of the concepts are linked to medical psychology. And there are shed loads of scientific reports which prove that mediation can improve your mental health, well- being, ease stress and even booast your immune system (Who likes a cold?! I’m in)

I’m finding it a challenge to find my inner peace (During one meditation session I found I was thinking about what I was going to write about meditating doh!) However, I think I’m beginning to learn how to stop my brain from prattling on.

The concept which has struck me the most though, is that even as adults our character is not set in stone.. we may think that our personal traits are concrete but they’re not. We can change. Each day our meditation ‘homework’ was to choose one of our negative characteristics and replace it with a positive one. Over time the negative will be permanently replaced by the new one… or at least the negative will be less dominant. As my teacher put it in one catchy phrase ‘wherever your energy goes.. its grows.’

So here’s what my Monday mantra is for the next week –

‘We are not defined.’

I guess its no different from creating a new habit really. If I wanted to stop eating chocolate I’d find it challenging but not impossible, I’m going to try and put the same attitute into tweeking my persoanlity.. how hard can it be right?!?!

These are the characteristics I focused on last week after my course on Thursday and what I tried to replace them with.

Friday  – Irritatbility -> Calm

Saturday – Over sensitivity -> Strength

Sunday – Imperfections -> Uniqueness 

Monday – Anxiousness -> Peace

I’m not saying that I’ve succeeded in changing myself into these things (I am no saint – just ask the boyfriend) I often want to punch the idiot driver who drive 50 mph in the fast lane or the jerk who honks his horn the nanosecond the red changes to green before I’ve had time to change gear.. ggr.

Am I mad to start this? There’s a part of me which feel like I may be opening pandora’s box – once bad stuff starts coming out how do I close the damn box!? What do you reckon?

I’m not into the idea of therapy (unless you’ve had some sort of traumatic childhood obviously. My biggest trauma as a child being told I had to play the clarinet before the saxaphone  – I lasted a year and gave up, and I still haven’t taken up the saxaphone. Still bitter – but as you can see not mentally scarred.) That said,  I don’t think that there’s an issue with a little self- awareness, so here goes. And who wouldn’t want to be able to cope better in a stressful situation? Next time White Van Man honks at me I shall be a vision of calm I’m sure. (?!?)

I’m about to head down the M3 so bring on the serentity.. and pass the Dairy Milk (Who am I kidding, I couldn’t give up chocolate.)

Have a good week beautiful people.

More soon.